🛋️ As seen on: my mum's fridge
And now I'm going to teach you my secret system for doing the absolute bare minimum. No grindset. No 4am cold plunges. Just vibes and a 2pm alarm.
*Button may be too much effort to click.
My Lambo. (It's a 2004 Corolla. It's my dad's. I'm not allowed to drive it.)
"The early bird gets the worm. But who wants a worm?"
— lowachieveredmund, 2:47pm, still in bed
Lie down. Avoid stuff. Zzz. Yeah, that's it.
Learn the advanced 9-minute interval technique. Graduate to "turning the alarm off entirely."
Rinse and repeat every day. Compound interest, but for procrastination.
Find the loose change in your sofa. We made £1.40 in our pilot study.
Reframe "I failed" as "I participated". Reframe "participated" as "was nearby".
The Irish exit, the fake phone call, and the "my mum is here" classic.
I haven't made this one yet. Don't hold your breath. Actually, that's effort. Just breathe normally.
Every successful person has one. Here's mine.
*not real
"Before this course I had a 5-year plan. Now I don't even have a 5-minute plan. Life-changing."
"I was going to write a longer review but"
"Watched Module 1 and fell asleep. Best sleep of my life. 10/10 would snooze again."
"My son did this course and now he won't get out of bed. I want a refund."
Prices subject to change if I can be bothered.
The Low Achiever Guarantee: If you're not completely unsatisfied, we'll refund every penny you paid us (£0).
*Refund requests must be submitted in person between 5:00am and 5:01am.
Did you read this far? Then you're already overachieving. Scale it back.
Nobody knows. Nobody has completed it. That's kind of the point.
No. In fact, the less experience the better. Ideal candidates have done nothing.
If you count in pennies and you're very, very patient. Like, geological patient.
Yes! Scroll down. We printed it on a napkin.
You didn't earn it. That's how you know you've earned it.
He's also lying down. He says there's no rush.